Almost 10,000 people a month type “how to ask a guy out” into their Google search bar. That means almost 10,000 people want to ask someone else out per month but are too nervous to do it without help.
I realize we’re all looking for prince or princess charming, and in a perfect world, some hottie would bust into the bar, make a bee-line for us, get down on one knee and tell us we’re the most beautiful woman in the world and ask us if we would do them a favour and go on a date with them.
But this isn’t a fairy tale, Prince Harry is taken and we have no glass slipper or fairy godmother. So, we have to improvise.
There is nothing wrong with a woman asking a guy out—but so many women are terrified to do it.
But fear not, I have asked a ton of guys out over the years—some of which I’ve even ended up going on a date with. So, I decided to write a definitive guide on how to ask a guy out.
Hopefully, it inspires a few ladies to get in on the action!
How to ask a guy out via text
Let’s start with popping the date question via text first because it’s less intimidating and, in my experience, women are more willing to do it.
Let’s say prince charming—we’ll call him Mena (I just watched Aladdin twice, don’t judge)—is texting you up a storm. It’s been a few weeks, you’re feelin’ it, you’re pretty sure he’s feelin’ it too but you’re simply not sure.
Should you ask him out?
Yes, the answer is always yes. Because otherwise, you might actually never know.
But how to ask a guy out over a text, that’s the real question. And, you’ll be happy to know that there’s a really simple way to do it: just ask!
How to ask a guy out text examples
Not sure exactly what to say? Here are a few text examples you can use when asking that special someone out:
- Hey Mena, I was wondering if you were free this Friday evening to grab a drink?
- XYZ Art Gallery is having a low-key showing this Saturday afternoon, I was wondering if you wanted to be my date. Yes, there will be free wine and cheese ?
- Are you free for a coffee date this Wednesday afternoon? I’m off work around 3, and The Coffeehouse has a great new vanilla tea I’d love to check out.
- I’m collecting dating reviews for my Bumble profile, any chance you want to grab a coffee on Sunday afternoon? I need one more to make my quota.
Honestly, go with something that matches your personality. If they don’t love it, it wasn’t meant to be.
Tips for asking a guy out via text
Before you jump to your phone and start sending out those texts, we both know that you’ll likely take a screenshot of to send to your six closest friends. But before you send those bad boys out, I’ve got a few tips and tricks of my own for you:
- Be direct. While some people seem to like drama, no one really likes to play guessing games, so make sure you’re clear and transparent about what you want. If you want to go out on a date, make it clear. This means avoiding the use of the word hangout… does anyone even know what that means anymore?
- Specify a date and time. Some women think when they’re asking a guy out they should be available to work with their schedule—this is bullsh*t. First of all, your date, your schedule. And, more importantly, skipping ahead to the planning stage when you initiate the date will help avoid those pesky 22 texts where you try to figure out the “best time.” What if he’s not available then? No problem! Having a date and time makes it way easier to check your schedule, but if he’s not available at that specific time, he’ll be much more motivated to give you an alternative time.
- Do not invite a guy over to your house if you want to go on a date. While this really shouldn’t be the case, asking a guy over to your house has some preconceived notions that might not fit in with your ideal date. Save the Netflix and Chill for a follow-up date (or the encore, if that’s your preference). And definitely do not invite someone over to your house that you’ve never met before, that’s the opening to next summer’s horror flick.
How to ask a guy out in person
Asking a guy out in person seems like it’s that much more terrifying because it’s in person and there’s usually an audience, even if they’re not directly paying attention to what you’re doing.
But, the good news is, it actually tends to be less painful than most think because it’s over in a few moments and you have an immediate answer. There’s no starring at your phone for the next few hours waiting for someone to text you back.
So how do you ask a guy out in person? You just walk up and ask.
Seriously, people—not just women but people in general—overthink asking someone else. It’s easy, and if you walk up and do it, it’ll be quick and relatively painless.
So, stand up straight, do a quick mirror check, walk up and ask. All you have to say is something along the lines of: I don’t mean to interrupt but I couldn’t help but notice you from across the [insert place you’re at now], any chance you’d be free for a date? Just like that.
Is it cheesy or too predictable? No. Because if you go for more you’ll probably end up chickening out. Go for straightforward. And don’t forget that you’re a freaking catch, so they’d be damn lucky to spend time with you.
What do you suggest doing for your date?
When it comes to suggesting a date in person, especially if you’re meeting them for the first time, it depends highly on your personal interests and even a little bit on where you’re already meeting.
For example, if you’re currently hanging out in a bar, it’s a safe bet to say that asking someone out for a drink is fair game. But if you want a more casual vibe, try asking the guy out for a coffee.
Other great low key first date options include:
- Lunch (it carries way less weight than a dinner date)
- A walk or bike ride
- A local arts hot spot (think informal gallery opening or free night at the museum)
- Ice cream (perfect for those summer days)
Dates don’t have to be complex. And for a first date, especially with a stranger, you’ll want to keep it public and limit the time required, just in case you need to get the heck outta there.
What about how to get a guy to ask you out again?
First and foremost, you can totally be the one to initiate a second date. We’re completely throwing the dating rules out the window, so go crazy (but not legit crazy).
That said, if you’re really hoping he’ll do the asking and you’re wondering how to get a guy to ask you out again, the answer is also quite simple. Be your charming self. Seriously, it’s as easy as that.
You and I both know you’re awesome, and if your prince or princess charming is also awesome and the mutual attraction is there, then it’ll happen again.
That said, I always say, if you want a second date, just ask!
Everyone should ask someone else out at least once
I’m a firm believer that every woman should experience asking someone else out at least once. It’s completely life-changing—or it was for me and a few girlfriends I’ve helped through the process.
One thing that people don’t realize (or talk about) when asking a person out is the awesome confidence boost you get by doing it. Even if you get rejected.
Seriously, the act of taking fate into your own hands and being a bada$$ woman who asks dudes out is incredibly empowering. So get out there and show your bold, beautiful self off!
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