Having a larger body comes with a whole set of its own challenges from finding the perfect towel to finding a super cute dress that fits you. But there are few of these challenges that can make you feel as inadequate as trying to figure out how to master sex, especially if you’ve got a particularly attractive partner with you.
It can be a challenge for us ladies to get on the dating saddle (figuratively speaking, unless you’re a fan of cowgirl) in the first place. But when the clothes come off we have a whole host of new feelings and insecurities pop in.
Namely, what to do with all of these moving parts while we’re trying to have a little fun in the bedroom. From navigating where your stomach should go to showing off your bootie without overshadowing the rest of your body, there’s a lot to think about.
Luckily, there are a few enjoyable sex positions for plus size women that work like a charm. Whether you want to ride that cowboy, get down on all fours or open up like a butterfly, there’s something that will work for your next bedroom-focused date.
Assuming plain ol’ missionary isn’t really your thing or you’re looking to expand beyond that, then one these eight sex positons that are comfortable (and fun) for fat women might be perfect for your next romp:
Best sex positions for plus size women
While I’m not a fan of the name “doggy style” I can confidently say that this is one of the more comfortable sex positions for plus size women that not only gets the job done, but does it well.
What makes this particular position appealing to the plus size lady is the fact that your stomach isn’t getting in the way (which it can want to do using some of the more traditional positions). However, you trade off for needing to support your weight on your knees and arms.
For those unfamiliar with this particular sex position, you position yourself on your hands and knees (ie. on all fours) and your partner enters from behind. Larger butts can often make rear entry* a challenge in many positions, but the additional exposure given from this particular angle can break that barrier down.
You can make a slight modification to this particular position by using an adjustable wedge pillow. With a wedge pillow tucked under your stomach with the up-and-down side against your thighs, you take a little pressure off your knees and give you a soft landing.
In this case, I would recommend remaining on your knees but lying against the pillow and keeping your arms flat against the bed so only your butt is in the air—this really lands you more in crunched turtle territory, but I’m going to let it slide.
*By “rear entry” I don’t mean anal… unless that’s your thing, then you go girl!
Who doesn’t want to spread their wings and fly like a butterfly—people who don’t enjoy having fun, that’s who. If you’re truly struggling to find a sex position that works with your plus size body, this is the one I’d recommend trying out.
I will warn that there might be some configuring requirements on this one, depending on your partner’s height because it requires them to stand at the edge of the bed on the floor while you lie on it.
You’ll want to scoot yourself right up to the edge of the bed and put your legs up on their chest. Trying to keep your legs straight is crucial in this position, because bending them can cause some unnecessary discomfort.
However, if having your legs straight is an issue, you can switch it up by either having your partner hold your thighs while their pointed straight off the bed. Or you can wrap them around their back.
If you find that your entry window (AKA your vagina) is a little too low for your partner, you can use a triangle pillow to help raise your butt up to their level.
Making a tiny modification to the Butterfly—flipping over onto your stomach—will land you in superwoman position, and who doesn’t want to be the heroine of their own story?
Exactly like the Butterfly, you’re going to want to lie down on the bed, but this time on your stomach. Your partner will, again, have to be the right height to accomplish the job or you can use a triangle pillow to help prop you to the right height. They’ll also need to hold your thighs while you point your legs straight backwards.
This position is essentially a mix between lying on the bed like the butterfly and being penetrated from behind like doggy style. It’s a great position if you’re looking for something simple and relaxing.
Sexy and seated
Now I’ve never personally tried using the assistance of a chair during sex, but I’m told it’s one of the exceptional sex positions for plus size women. It has all of the sexy appeal of an up-close-and-personal literal lap dance that could make your night heavenly.
For this position, you’ll need a sturdy chair. Your partner will sit on the chair and you’ll squat yourself on top of him 😉 forwards or backwards—whichever works best for you. Forwards might be a bit more stable because you’ll likely have more luck planting your feet firmly on the floor.
For the seated sex position, you’ll want to make sure that you’ve set the firm on the floor that’s unlikely to be slippery so it doesn’t slide around. You’ll get all the action you need right from your partner. If you need a little assistance with your balance, ask your partner to hold you steady at the waist.
Cowgirl (or reversed)
If you’re the riding type, then using either cowgirl or reverse cowgirl can give you a pleasurable experience, even if you’re carrying a little more weight than your partner. This is one of those sex postions that plus size women shy away from, but you might be pleasantly surprised how well it works.
With cowgirl, your partner lies down on the bed and you straddle them, facing forward. For the reversed maneuver, you’ll want to turn around and face their feet. Reverse cowgirl is better if you need to add a little stability by leaning over on your palms.
This position also adds the option of adding some extra self-stimulation in there. Or you can step it up a notch and bring out your favourite vibrator.
I feel like spooning is one of the most referenced sex positions—I’m not sure why I think that but alas, I do. In any case, it’s a great close-contact sex position for plus size women.
When you spoon, you and your partner lie down on your side with your partner behind you. Your partner then lifts your top leg up so they can enter you from behind.
For extra stability, lay the hand that’s closest to the bed above your head and use your second hand to support you on the bed. And your partner can have a hands-free experience that allows for clitoral and nipple stimulation by using their knee to support your leg.
This is a great position if you feel unstable in a more upright position. Plus it allows for an optimal cuddling opportunity after—no repositioning required!
If you want to face your partner, you can flip over into the Lover’s Embrace position. To allow entry, you’ll need to lift your leg up over your partner’s knee and they’ll want to support your hips with their hands. If you’re looking for something slower and more sensual, this is a great modification.
If deep penetration is your ideal outcome, then the best sex positon for your plus size body might just be the deep impact position. As the title implies, it’s great if you want your partner to get as up in your grill as possible (the “grill” in this situation being your vagina).
To accomplish this position, you’ll want to lie on your back on the bed with your partner kneeling between your knees. They’ll have to help you scoot up their knees so your butt is resting on their thighs, you can use a triangle pillow to help with this.
You have a few leg options in this position—you can wrap your legs behind their back, rest them on your partner’s chest or bend your knees and put them flat on the bed (if your legs are long enough).
This is another great position if you’re looking for the option for self-stimulation. If you go that route, your partner will have the best seat in the house.
If you’re looking for something simple and easy that doesn’t require you to do a lot of supporting or twist your leg around like a pretzel. It’s a great option if you struggle with the spooning position.
To get into position, you’re going to want to get on all fours but crouch down on your knees and forearms (similar to child’s pose in yoga). This way your butt will be high in the air and exposed so your partner can kneel behind you and penetrate you from behind. Per usual, this can be made easier with the assistance of an adjustable wedge pillow.
You can modify this position a little if you want by taking it sideways. You can use your arms to pillow your head or you can use a free hand to self stimulate… whatever’s your pleasure!
More sex tips for plus size women
Sex as a plus size women is a topic we tend to avoid, but being more open about it can help us get over some of the fear and anxiety involved in the process. It can be incredibly nerve wracking to undress and let someone into your personal space if you’re uncomfortable with your own body.
But here’s the thing—if your partner is standing in your room naked chances are they want to be there. Regardless of how you clothe yourself, they know you have a little extra cushion in some areas. And, in my experience, if they’re there, they’re game for doin’ it with a big gal. So, go for it and don’t be afraid to dress up if you want to!
What if your partner is also plus size?
While the sex positions I’ve outlined above were picked with a focus on pleasure and comfort for a plus size women, it’s entirely possible that your partner also has a bigger body. If that’s the case, you might need to make some alterations.
If you have a plus size partner, you might want to avoid positions that require them to stand or kneel as well. Something like spooning or the lover’s embrace might be your best bet. Likewise, having sex seated can also be a good choice for two plus size bodies.
Get comfortable with each other, try a few positions out and get into something that works for both of you.
Modify where you need it
The thing about sex positions is that they’re not set in stone. There are no rules about what you can do when—everything is up for negotiation when it comes to making a few modifications in your position.
It’s OK to kneel instead of sitting or lying down, use the floor instead of the bed if you need a little less movement (or, girl, solid pieces of furniture like a well-built table can be a blessing as well), use pillows for maximum positioning and stabilize yourself on a piece of furniture (the back of the couch is an exceptional sex-assist).
The key about having sex as a plus size women is that you need to be comfortable—honestly, this is the case plus size or not. Your sexcapades should be a fun time for you and your partner to connect and enjoy each other’s bodies.
Talk it out
There is absolutely nothing wrong with voicing your opinion.
If you’re nervous about trying something, or there’s something you want to try but you’re not sure how to accomplish it, talk to your partner! Two heads are better than one, as they say, so why not try figuring it out together?
I know talking about your body while trying to get it on can be an uncomfortable idea for many bigger women, but there’s no reason to feel that way.
Truthfully, I’ve never been in a situation where my partner was like bahahaha, your fat in the middle of sex. In fact, the reaction has been the total opposite with my partner going all-in to figure out how to do something. And, if at any point you need or want to stop, do it!
What about sex toys?
Sex toys can be a great addition to any bedroom play session, assuming both you and your partner are both comfortable with it. They can be pleasurable for both of you, so here are a few ideas for you.
Pleasure for her:
Pleasure for him:
Pleasure for couples:
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