Fun story: I hit on a doctor the other day—that was by no means my intention when I woke up that morning but apparently somedays I’m not so savvy when it comes to keeping my thoughts from turning into words. But our cute little chat got me thinking.
As a plus size woman, I feel like I spend most of my time trying to get the world not to see me. I like flying safely under the radar. But every once in awhile, there’s someone who sparks your interest. So, for times like that, let’s talk about how to get a guy to notice you.
It’s not as hard as you might think.
Step 1: Appearance
Looks aren’t everything, but they sure do help. If you’re struggling for how to get a guy to notice you, there’s a little prep work that you might want to do right off the bat—and that stars in the looks area.
If you’re feeling deflated right now about this first step, I’ll tell you quickly before we go on: you look hot how you are. No one’s going to tell you to lose weight, that is not the key to being attractive.
Dress to Feel Sexy
Notice I didn’t say “dress sexy”—that’s because sexy is incredibly subjective and that’s not the key to get someone to notice you. At least, not in the right way.
If wearing a low-cut v-neck and short-shorts makes you feel sexy, then you go for it, girl. If you’re more comfortable in a cardigan, a pair of jeans and sneakers, then do that.
My personal favourite is the jumpsuit (or a romper if you’re in the summer heat) but whatever makes you most comfortable is perfect for you. Because when you’re comfortable in your own skin (or clothes) everything else will come along much better.
Now, it’s impossible for you to wander around 24/7 in your “how to get a guy to notice me” outfit, that would be unrealistic. This is more for those situations where you expect to run into someone that you might fancy.
Keep Your Hair Out of Your Eyes
This is both a pet peeve and great advice—when you’re trying to make contact with someone that you fancy (or anyone, for that matter), you’ll get along much further if you keep that hair out of your eyes.
Eyes are incredibly expressive and can really help when it comes to reeling someone in, but if they can’t be seen, it’s not so effective. This can be as simple as tucking your hair behind your ear or gathering it with your hand and pulling it to the side or putting it behind you.
And, as a side note, try to avoid playing with it. It might look cute in some situations but it can go bad SO fast. Seriously, you’re one step away from accidentally chewing your hair or getting your fingers stuck in a big knot you didn’t know about.
I realize that smell isn’t really “appearance” but it fits in with what we’re talking about, so let’s roll with it.
The sense of smell is closely linked to your memory. We’ve all experienced that rush of a memory triggered by a freely popped bag of popcorn or the trail of cologne walking by.
I recommend finding a signature scent. I wear Atelier Vanille Insensee Cologne which is a delicious vanilla focused scent (my fav). I get a ton of compliments on it.
Smelling nice can work in your favour when it comes to picking up that cute guy in the elevator. So long as you don’t overdo it and your interaction is positive.
Step 2: Attitude
While appearance doesn’t count for much, if you’re going to get a guy to notice you, your attitude counts for everything. If you focus on NOTHING else, take account of the attitude section.
Your attitude can make or break an encounter. Whether you’re trying to connect with your dream date or you’re interviewing for a new job, you need to make sure your attitude is in the right place.
Confidence is KEY. If you aren’t confident you’ll be giving off the wrong vibe during the whole encounter. Walking into the situation with your head held high, absolutely knowing you’re awesome and hawt, girl, hawt is so important.
Look, I know that some days you look in the mirror and you just want to go back to bed. Sometimes, you leave your house in a pair of sweats and you hope that no one sees you or your clothes just don’t fit correct and you just want to stay locked away.
We don’t always have good days. Sometimes we have some really bad ones. But, at the end of the day, your confidence will carry you further than an uber sexy top, great eyeliner and a nice ass.
Assume He Likes You
This is ABSOLUTELY KEY when it comes to how to get a guy to notice you, you need to walk into the encounter assuming that he likes you. No joke. If you walk into it thinking that you’re not attractive or you’re wasting your time because it’ll never work out, it wont.
If at the end of the day it turns out he doesn’t, that’s completely fine. Sure, it’ll sting, but that is a WAY BETTER alternative to sabotaging everything yourself right off the bat.
You are awesome. You are smart. You are HOT. Why wouldn’t he like you? Seriously, why not?
Step 3: Actions
Now we’re at the good stuff. If you’re wondering what you need to do when you’re trying to get a guy to notice you, then this is what you need to pay attention to… though the other stuff is still important.
So, if you’re wondering how to get a guy to notice you, here’s what you do:
Make Eye Contact
Eye contact is more powerful than you might think. It can be nerve-wracking to actually look someone that you fancy straight in the eye, but it can be incredibly effective in making a connection.
Don’t get into a full eyes-wide starring contest. You’re not looking to creep him out, you simply want to connect with your Prince Charming. So, put on a nice smile (your eyes will brighten) and give him the attention of your eyes.
Use Flirty Body Language
Body language can also help get your message across. While we’re in the middle of social distancing, so I’d encourage you to stay hands-off with this flirting, there are a few things that you can.
Eye contact is obviously the first step, but we’ve already covered that.
Notice I didn’t say “be mysterious”—that’s because as much as we love the idea of mystery, at the end of the day it tends to just be frustrating.
This also means that you need to think of yourself as interesting. If you don’t think you’re interesting, then who’s going to think you are?
Strike Up a Conversation
It’s all you girl. If you’re really wondering how you can get someone to notice you, then you need to take the lead. This is the part that scares people the most, but once you strike up a conversation the process is much more smooth.
Not sure what to strike up a conversation about? No problem. You’ve got a TON of options. Are you in your high rise apartment building, a simple “how long have you been living in the building” is perfect. Or compliment his shoes or shirt choice.
This doesn’t have to be a complex, nerve-wracking process. Your initial goal is to strike up a conversation and introduce yourself. Then let the conversation flow from there.
This is really important, especially when you’re striking up a conversation. When your potential date is talking, listen. I always repeat that old saying to myself, “you’ve got two ears and one mouth” so don’t ruin your encounter by drifting off and not listening.
Now, I know you’re probably going to be nervous because I mean hello, hot dude! But you can totally do this. If it helps, glance at his mouth while he’s speaking so you can both listen and read. You got this!
Keep Him Wanting More
You don’t have to give it all away on the first date… er, encounter. Seriously, it’s best to leave the conversation at a wanting more stage. What this exactly looks like will be best judged by you.
If you’re unlikely to see dream dude again, then you might want to consider asking for a number. If you are, then you might want to leave the number getting until later.
But, whatever you do, drop the notion that you have to play hard to get. Seriously, that’s a mistake. It might have worked in high school, but this is real life now girl. Don’t be always available, but don’t be never available either.
You got this. Happy dating!
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